Grandparent Crisis, part 2

Latest update--apparently Grandma isn't coming to stay with us after all. Mom told me while driving me home today (that's right, I still don't have my license. Shut up.) that the doctor suddenly changed his mind. He isn't going to declare Grandpa incapable, at least not yet. First they're going to run those neurological tests. Afterwards? Maybe. After all, the disorientation may have just been a temporary flash. The doctor suggested calling Adult Care Services (or whatever the equivalent of Child Care Services is), but Mom isn't going to do that, not yet. She says that the government will only interfere if it's really, really obvious that the person is suffering neglect. And how (to quote Mom) do you show a person isn't eating? ...Don't look at me like that. It's not like she's wasting away. Well, she is, but slowly. Over the years. In that aging sort of way, you can contribute it to the general downhill slide. Grandma eats, just not much.

It's almost ironic. When I was young, I didn't eat a lot. Still don't eat so much (least in the mornings). I weighed very little as a child. My grandparents were always asking me everytime they saw me--"How much do you weigh?" And if I'd gain pounds, Grandpa would give me money. Well, he's a grandpa. He probably would have done that anyway, you know how grandparents spoil the kids. But it was like a reward for gaining weight. And then Grandma was always urging me to eat, eat. She always had a stash of candy to feed me, God, I remember that stash. Mom says she used to do the same when she was young. Maybe something left over from the Depression?

And now, when she's very old and not doing so well, Grandma still urges me to eat. I'm eating, I tell her, what about you? I won't eat if you don't eat. I weigh a perfectly normal amount, 120-something at last count (long time ago, admittedly)--it's Grandma who's underweight. And she's still telling me to eat. And barely touching the food on her plate. It's heartbreaking. Every meal is a struggle. Another reason why it's so painful to visit them.

They're still coming down from Baltimore for Thanksgiving. Mom might drive them down. I think she wants to take away Grandpa's license--she's afraid that he'll hurt somebody. She's been talking about that a lot lately--guess the disorientation thing really scared her. What if he crashes the car into the curb?--that kind of thought. Well, the doctor told her that you can't take a license away against someone's will, unless there's an incident. But she told me tonight that what he said wasn't true. If she reports Grandpa, he'll have to take a driving test, and officials will decide whether he can drive or not.