DAMN YOU AIPAC!!!

Okay, let me say this once and for all:

FUCK THOSE ISRAEL ADVOCACY CLASSES!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE, ENOUGH!!! I GET THE FREAKING MESSAGE!!! YOU'VE SPENT THE PAST EIGHT YEARS INDOCTRINATING ME, FOR HEAVENS' SAKE WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!?!

See, you have to understand. There are certain required Jewish History courses required for each grade in high school; for seniors, it's "History of Modern Israel" (which, of course, everyone calls Zionism or Jewish History). My teacher, Ms. Goldstein, is actually very good. Overall she's done a fairly evenhanded treatment of the subject--pretty difficult, all things considered. She simply states the facts: This is what Egypt planned in '67, and this is how the Israelis attacked. This is why the PLO left Jordan for Lebanon. This is what Sabaa (sp?) and Shatila was about. This is how the Peace Process went. (We just had a quiz on that today, actually.)

Now, as I'm sure I've mentioned before, the school graduates the seniors early and takes them first to Europe (Prague, Poland) and then to Israel. So my school years ends pretty soon. Subsequently, today Ms. Goldstein mapped out the rest of the year in Jewish History, and she mentioned that we would be getting a visit from AIPAC representatives about Israel advocacy.

Actually, this is fairly predictable. I mean, it is Zionism class. And, well, AIPAC is AIPAC. But let me say this once more: I AM SO SICK OF ISRAEL ADVOCACY BEING THROWN AT ME ALL THE TIME!!

There's this myth floating around in Jewish circles that there's a lot of anti-Israel (read: anti-Semitism) on college campuses. To be fair, this is partially true. But sometimes, the way they talk about it, it sounds like as soon as you go to college MY GOD THERE ARE ISRAEL HATERS EVERYWHERE AND FOR THE SAKE OF THE JEWISH PEOPLE YOU MUST DEFEND THE JEWISH HOMELAND OR ELSE THEY WILL BURN YOU AT STAKE.

Me, I think this comes from good old Jewish paranoia, which (again) is based in reality. You hear all sorts of shit coming out of Europe these days, about people defacing synagogues and attacking people in kipas, etc. Why do you think Israel constantly flips off Europe? A lot of trust kinda flew out of the window with the Holocaust, and even though Jews in the Western world generally feel pretty secure, we tend to overreact to the smallest thing.

And then, sometimes, that "overreaction" is needed. We are not lying down and letting someone bulldoze us again. You wanna impinge on our rights, you're going to have to take us down kicking and screaming.

But this is not the point. The point is, every so often the school or some other Jewish children's organization (example: Panim) gathers a bunch of schoolkids together and lectures them about Israel advocacy. It is the most boring thing in the world. Everyone kinda zones out and doesn't pay attention. I've been to many of these things multiple times (generally against my will) and only once have I seen a speaker who really held my attention. But that was because he was a very good speaker. I can't remember his name...it was Ariel or Ariyeh...member of the Israel Debate Club, something like that. But it was what he SAID that made such a deep impression on me. I still remember the stories he told us.

Beyond that one guy, though, it's been dead boring, and now as a senior about to graduate, I am DEAD SICK of Israel advocacy. ENOUGH ALREADY!!! For heavens' sake, I've been going to Jewish school since 4th grade!!! It's not like I'm completely ignorant of the situation there!!! Besides, a lot of that shit feels like propaganda, and frankly that's the last thing I want right now. I want facts. I want a balanced point of view. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to let the Palestinians off. And if someone starts to blather some anti-Israel (read: anti-Semetic) bullshit that is blatantly wrong, biased, and inaccurate, of course I'm going to speak up. Of course I'll argue Israel's point of view. But this doesn't mean I'm going to let Israelis off either, because they've pulled some serious shit in the West Bank and Gaza. I mean, I could go on and on about the ethics of the situation, but there's a few things I'm certain of:

1) No one is innocent; both sides have done nasty stuff. And, by implication, both sides have lost innocent people to this conflict, often in horrible ways.
2) Both sides deserve their own country. Woot two-state solution.
3) Both sides need to stop shooting things at each other.
4) Both sides smoke like chimneys.

Okay, I threw the last part in for kicks, though you have to admit it's true. Both Israelis and Arabs smoke constantly. Honestly, are Americans the only people in the world who DON'T smoke and regard it as a filthy habit?

But to come back to Israel advocacy: Enough is enough. Just stop. I got the message a long time ago, I don't need your lessons anymore. Leave me alone, for heavens' sake.

Honestly, you have to wonder: do Palestinian advocacy groups visit Muslim schools and lecture them about Palestinian advocay? Ten dollars say they're just as boring. "Blah blah blah Palestine, blah blah blah atrocity, blah blah blah blah blah HEY! PAY ATTENTION, DAMMIT!!"

Maybe somewhere in the blogosphere, there's a Muslim girl ranting on about how there's yet another Palestine adovcacy meeting in school. Hee. That's an entertaining image. Misery does enjoy company. To my Muslim counterpart out there in the blogosphere: How's about you and me skip those damn advocacy meetings and drop by Starbucks, mm'kay?