Let's Begin

So: you're wondering, what is this blog about? "Writing into Space?" What the hell kind of title is that? Well, my original title was "The Bitching Corner," but then I decided against it. Who knows, maybe I'll change it eventually (if possible). But the truth is, I suck at titles. There, I've said it. And when I do think of good titles, I can't think of anything to go with it.

Some introductions are in order, though:

I am, in no particular order, female, Jewish, American, and white. Middle-class. East Coast. I shan't give you my name or age, for fear of predators; I once got some sketchy emails and I've been pretty cautious since then. But that's another story. You may call me Lawrnce, or Lawrie for short. Why Lawrence? Inside joke, involving history class, the Civil War, and a crappy, four hour-long movie that mauled the great book it came from. Kudos if you can guess the movie.

You: cyberspace. At least, as far as I'm concerned. I'm not stupid; I know just how many blogs are out there. Thousands. Millions. Most are only read by the author's friends. Me, I don't know if I'll even tell my friends about this. Why? Let me tell you about confession.

When I was a little kid, I used to be fascinated with confession. The idea of going to some place and confess your guilt anonymously really appealed to me. And that is what this is about. I'm not here to weepingly confess my guilt to you; I am only here to talk. Write. Post my thoughts. And all this anonymously. In short, this is an outlet.

It came to me yesterday, when I came to school very tense and upset. I felt very bitter and angry. Have you ever felt like your brain is overflowing with feelings? You feel ready to explode, you need to let it out, never mind what it is. That was me, 8:15 AM on Thursday. I thought about going to my guidance counselor, but I decided not to, because I knew she would respond with answers to my situation. Is there a problem, honey? How can I help? And that's the thing: I didn't want help, I didn't want solutions. I wanted to shout. To rant. And I wanted someone to sit and listen. Because to say it into air would do nothing. Perhaps this isn't rational, but I wasn't in a very rational mood then.

I started scribbling my feelings in my assignment notebook, just desperate to get it out. And that's when it struck me: I need a blog. I need someone, something to write to. Not just a notebook, like a diary: someone, someone who will read my thoughts and listen. Someone anonymous, who doesn't know me--who I can confide my deepest thoughts because they will never meet me, never give me away. I am writing into the depths of cyberspace--hence the title. Crazy? Paranoid? Perhaps. And like I said, I realize few if any will read this. But the illusion is enough.

What to expect: anything, everything. Tomorrow, for example, I will post those thoughts I was writing into my assignment notebook. After that, who knows? Essays. Stories. Thoughts. Observation. Comics to Israel to fantasy and everything in between. I hope you enjoy it.