Excerpts From a Conversation

"so how is
nancy's mother doing?"
"not good. the situation is
static right now.
they need a more
structured life, but
ben doesn't want to move out."
"he knows
he's lost the battle.
i think he knows that
grandma needs help--
that he needs help--
but he
doesn't want to admit it.
it's an old battle."
"i can't help but wonder
how much is habit."

(music tricksl from guitar strings
vibrating between my brother's fingers.
the dog burrows into my belly.)

"what about nancy's brothers?
when did you last see them?"
"years."
"ages."
"doesn't your uncle steve
ever come down to visit?"
"no."
"we're not close."
"i think this battle has
irrevocably damaged
their relationship--
from banging their heads
against a wall together
or against each other."
"they were never very close."
"now they're
not close at all."
"they've been fighting grandpa
a long time. remember when
we went to that
bat mitzvah in california?
uncle leonard and
uncle steve and
mom all got together
to face grandpa
and we went down
to the pacific ocean with dad.
that was
years ago."
"i was still in high school."
"yes, you were there."

(i remember how blue
and calm the ocean was.
we waded in our fancy clothes
deep into the surf.)

"wasn't nancy going to
move her mother here?"
"i don't think
that would have happened.
it's the stairs.
she's too decrepit."
"well what does betty want?"
"it's hard to say. she can't
articulate herself now."
"is she happy
where she is?"

(a flash of brown
my brother shakes his head.)

"no; she needs stimulation
she likes to sing or dance
(as wee as she can:
back and forth
like this--)
the last time i saw her
she was staring
at a blank tv screen
limp on the couch."
"ben can't see
through her eyes. he can't
empathize with her."
"we've talked about
taking her out of that house."

(but can a family
divorce their father?
--right now
the situation is static.)

"coffee? jacob, did you
make some more?"
"yes."
"i heard you this morning
at four or five..."

This poem is based on a conversation between me, my brother, my father, and my (paternal) uncle. Most of the lines are actual quotes or paraphrases of the conversation.